Quick Summary of the Lorax
Ted: I like chicks.
Chick: I like trees.
Ted: I'll get that bitch a tree. Bitches love trees. Hey Gramma where the fuck do I get a tree?
Gramma: Go talk to the Once-ler, he knows shit like that.
Ted: Yo Once-ler bro how the fuck do I get a tree?
Once-ler: Lemme tell you a story about trees.
Ted: Do you have to?
Once-ler: Yes. So there was this time when I had a douchebag family and then I ditched them and went off and cut down some trees to make shit with. And then this Lorax dude showed up.
Lorax: If you cut down any more trees I will cut you.
Once-ler: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Cool story bro.
Lorax: I'm sorry, by 'I will cut you' I meant I will dump you into a river and leave you to drown.
Once-ler: Woah calm thyself the fuck down bro. Jesus Christ, man. I won't cut down any more trees, happy?
Lorax: That's chill then.
Everybody: GIMME A FUCKIN THNEED I WANT ONE
Once-ler: Shit shit um hey I gotta call my douchebag family over to help.
Douchebag family: Just cut the damn trees down already you pansy.
Once-ler: Aw why the hell not. Sure thing.
Everybody: FUCKIN THNEEDS HELL YEAH
Once-ler: I'm fuckin rich this is awesome.
Lorax: What the fuck dude you promised!
Once-ler: I didn't PINKY PROMISE, douchebag, so it didn't count.
Lorax: Fuck you douchebag that's the last fuckin tree you just killed, good going. Have a goddamn tree seed, I'm out.
Douchebag family: Lol fail we're out.
Everyone: Lol I'm out man air's fuckin filthy around here.
Once-ler: What the hell do I do now. I'm just gonna lock myself up for a couple decades and not bother planting this seed thing.
Ted: So if you're not using it can I have it or what?
Once-ler: Why the hell not, man, go get that chick.
O'Hare: Woah woah everyone slow down trees will give you guys for free what I give you for 50 bucks. That's not cool man.
Ted: Nobody gives a shit, I have a fuckin tree. Move bitch, get out the way. I'm planting this fucker.
Chick: Oh, Mr. Ted, ooooh! You're so sexy, take me now! My body is ready!
Gramma: Damn straight.
Lorax: 'Bout time someone planted that damn tree. Hey Once-ler bud we're cool now, there's a tree again.
Once-ler: That's fucking awesome, man. Gimme a hug.
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